alicehoffmans:

TIL that the phrase “It gets better” infuriates me in a way I’ve never experienced.

For the first time in a long career of being a depressed human being, I was told “It gets better” un-ironically during an otherwise constructive conversation. It made my face flush and I immediately had the urge to end the conversation. So I did. And now I feel like an ass.

The phrase “it gets better” doesn’t seem terrible at face value. I mean, it really isn’t terrible. But I feel as though in past years, at least in the US, there has been a rather prolific ad/PSA campaign based around the phrase “it gets better”. It feels contrived and inauthentic. It’s the poor man’s way of saying “I get what you’re saying, but I don’t have the emotional capacity to support you right now”. And that’s fine, if that is the purpose it’s supposed to serve. It’s a slogan, a catch-phrase, and not an effective means of providing emotional support or insight. It’s the “Got Milk?” or “Just do it!” of depression support advocates. I’m genuinely not sure what aspect of depression it is supposed to hint at, aside from perhaps the small percentage of MDD/GAD sufferers that feel drive toward self harm and suicide – and even then, I think would hate to hear this if I were in that position.

And then this sums it up, well too. 

I mean, I guess what people really mean when they say “it gets better” (and I’ve been hearing that for years) is “please don’t kill yourself”, or rather “it gets better” as a reason not to, but…that’s a promise another person simply can’t keep. Things might not get better, things might get worse:

Unfortunately, “It Gets Better” has become associated with suicide prevention in general. This phrase, or any phrase with a similar meaning, is a dangerous way to try and support someone at risk. When someone is struggling with despair, it’s a bad idea to make promises to them on behalf of the Universe. If the Universe doesn’t happen to keep those promises, the results can be tragic.

It’s a little better than a generic “hang in there”; I think it has more good intent behind but…the results are kind of similar as to how I feel after I hear it/read it.

To me, anyways,