Tbh?? I’ll probably eventually get to some with this meme, but like:
- saying the wrong woman’s name at the altar
- wanting to hook up with someone hot but noping out because their apartment is too messy/dirty (hypochondriac + fastidiously clean?? i think not)
- “Get OFF my sister!!!!”
-
“We had to stop at every maple candy stand on the way here.” * visibly vibrating*
-
“There he is, the father of my child, the porn king of the west Village.”
- screaming @ his boss because he ate his (labeled) sandwich that was in the communal fridge
- taking all the amenities from hotel rooms and not checking out until the last possible moment
- “Have you considered therapy?” “I think…just the annulment…for today.”
- buying a pair of leather pants that are too tight, taking them off in his date’s bathroom and not being able to get them back on
- “Three divorces!” (in parrot from Aladdin voice)
- singing Baby Got Back to an actual baby; not realizing how inappropriate the chorus is until right after (”I’m a terrible father!”)
- using the spare key to get into his ex’s apartment so he can get his pink shirt back (because it is his favorite shirt)
- “If I went over there I’d be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up…’jump up my own ass and die’.”
- glaring at the nanny when they play Greensleeves on their recorder.
-
“She said you actually proposed to her.” “Well, I didn’t! I didn’t propose! Unless…. Did I? I haven’t slept in 40 hours, and it does sound like something I would do…”
Site Title 