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enoughtohold:

i guess if skype is going to offer me rpg-style dialogue tree options it’s only right that they include one that gets the player character punched in the face

susiethemoderator:

johnthedragon:

jessiexnim:

B E V E R A G E

when u THORSTY

me getting up to drink water at 3am

he Knew.

dekutree:

teacher: i graded your tests. some of you didn’t do so well

me: @ me

alicehoffmans:

AU where i have talent.

@valoisqueens thank you, i feel like i have a lot of ideas and just not the talent and energy to carry them out, lately…

@medievalcat thank you sm, i’ve never once known what i was saying :’)

abolish-everything:

Bootyshorts which say “enemy of the state”

glorianas:

If any man dared take on an Owens woman, he’d live briefly in the euphoria of her love… until meeting an untimely death.

ymcr:

seacreaturefeature:

ok we joke and we jape but like. shrek 1 is th only animated/childrens movie i can think of that has th message that its ok to be an ugly woman n 4 that reason i hav a lot of genuine respect for it as a piece of art

unclefather:

*rips off my bra and throws it across the room*
me: I am tired of that

kickin-jeans:

ayatollahkhomeiniofficial:

I’ve come to the conclusion that none of you fear god

me addressing the huge fucking geese sleeping and shitting in front of the entrance to my college