calamity-bean:

First of all, thank you for sharing your perspective. Sex
work is not an experience I have to draw upon, and I appreciate and respect
that you do have that experience and perspective.

I don’t have much to say
regarding Marney here. As I’ve said several times before, I like him, too, and although
I think that he and Charlotte alike have their reasons for wanting to run away from their current life, I
absolutely appreciate that you wish that their plot were developing in a
different direction. That’s exactly how I feel
about Haxby right now! I wish that he, his role in the narrative, and his
relationship with Charlotte were developing in a different direction — a direction
more interesting and more positive than the way it seems to be going.

That’s the central issue here, for me: development.
It is central to my recent posts about Haxby, and it’s central to the notion of shipping him with
Charlotte — or even of simply being interested in exploring the dynamic the
show began between them. And, to more specifically address your message, I
think development gets to the heart of what our disagreement seems to be. Because
when it comes to the issue of whether or not shipping any given characters is
gross (which, as I’ve said before, is a debate as old as fandom), it seems to
me that part of the answer depends upon: In what way are they being shipped?

On this matter, of course, I cannot speak for the whole
fandom. I know only my own thoughts and the thoughts of those who’ve been kind
enough to discuss the subject with me. But for me, at least, the appeal of
Charlotte/Haxby — whether as a “ship” or simply as a plot arc — has
never been anything like, “Oh, Haxby is a great person right now,
and I want Charlotte to be with someone who disdains her and her entire
profession.” It’s more like … “Wow, okay. Charlotte and Haxby have this immense
friction between them, but also these surprising moments of awkward sympathy,
and this whole thing is just very unexpected and interesting. I hope the show doesn’t
abandon this dynamic or act like their more sympathetic moments never happened,
because I can imagine how their relationship could lead to really intriguing positive
character development for them both.”

As things currently stand: Is Haxby himself whorephobic?
Yes. He takes a very dim view of prostitution and believes that “all harlots
are damned.” Has he been horrible to Charlotte? Sure, just as she’s been
horrible to him. As of 1.06, they have each insulted the other, to their faces as well as behind their backs, and schemed to have the
other expelled from the household and/or humiliated. Not to mention petty
things Charlotte’s done like puking in his hat or spitting plum pits at his
door. As I discussed further in this previous ask,
I’m not interested in glossing over Haxby’s faults, and although I find their bickering
and scheming amusing, I of course don’t want either of them to actually be in a
relationship in which they despise and disrespect their partner. But that’s
where character development comes in. And I’m not trying to pull character development
out of thin air, either: Harlots did,
in fact, lay narrative groundwork for it, at least through episode 1.05.

Take these two back-to-back scenes of him at Mary Cooper’s
deathbed in 1.02. In the first, we see him sneering (for which he is rightly rebuked
by Charlotte) that “this whore is condemned by God” and that “her sins are
dragging her down”…

…And then, in his very next scene

— after he’s been startled and screamed at by Mary, who’s hallucinating that he’s literally the devil

— we see him praying to that very God
he claimed condemned Mary to redeem her soul. “Take, O lord, the soul of this
sinner, Mary. ‘Tis within the power of your grace to save…” he prays, while
Charlotte tearfully soothes Mary in her final moments.

Once Mary has passed, Charlotte sharply silences Haxby, and they share a moment of very awkward quiet together, in which he looks extremely uncomfortable and she’s near to tears.

It’s a situation we see reversed in 1.03, when it is
Charlotte who starts out choking back cruel laughter at the humiliation she’s
engineered for Haxby (“Hold my pisspot, Haxby!”) … only to end up looking profoundly
uncomfortable while he endures his own moment of embarrassing vulnerability.

These are the things that I, and other shippers (or just “people
who are interested in this dynamic,” regardless of whether they “ship” it, per
se) I’ve spoken to, want further explored. I want to see their volatile
rivalry be used to pry open the vulnerabilities, contradictions, and moments of
uncomfortable sympathy we’ve seen exposed in some of their scenes together, in
hopes that they could each develop more sympathy for each other, come to a
better understanding of one another, and (for Haxby in particular, since the
narrative already gives us plenty of reason to sympathize with Charlotte)
become more likable, more admirable people. 

After all: we were initially
introduced to Florence Scanwell as a harsh, judgmental woman who’s done far
more sneering about harlots and damnation than Haxby has. Yet she’s been
afforded character development that allows us to better understand her, allows
her to confront contradictions within herself, and overall
portrays her in a more sympathetic light. I love that. I love that Florence is getting character development, because I love when characters in general are complicated and neither wholly good nor bad. Could Haxby not likewise receive
character development? He’s an asshole, sure, but at least through 1.06, is he beyond redemption entirely?

Not that Haxby was ever entirely horrible,
mind you, or entirely unsympathetic. In the beginning, at least, he’s just a beleaguered
servant whose resentment of Charlotte seems to be rooted primarily in his job
rather than in the disdain he has for sex workers. Proper management of Howard’s
— and, perhaps more importantly to Haxby, Lady Caroline’s — estate is Haxby’s
responsibility and livelihood, not to mention a legacy inherited from
generations of service to the estate. And as Lady Caroline herself tells
Charlotte: “[Howard’s] estate falls into disrepair. You are ruining him!” I don’t
know who the initial aggressor was in Charlotte and Haxby’s little war, but I
can see where Haxby’s coming from.

The problem, for me, is not that Haxby has always been irredeemable
or could not be developed into a more sympathetic person (in a way that felt organic within the
established narrative). The problem is that, as of 1.06, the narrative seems in danger of throwing out those early moments of sympathy and potential and reducing him to a
flat antagonist. While writing this reply, I got another ask (thank you, anon!) directing
me to The A.V. Club’s review of 1.06:

“I’m disappointed
in how Haxby’s arc is going; we’re up to the ears in craven, feckless men, and
I had hoped his power game with Charlotte would be the beginning of something
more complex and not just more reason for spite. Spite, he already had plenty
of.”

And that … pretty much sums up in about 50 words what I have
spent doubtless far too many on. Forgive me; I’m not known for my brevity. And
it’s becoming difficult to discuss my own disappointment in Haxby’s arc without
discussing 1.07. I think I may have to make a separate post more explicitly
explaining my feelings about that, although now I fear that much of it may be
redundant to what I’ve written here. (I considered doing so here, but I don’t know what episode you’re on, and readmores haven’t been working on my asks.)

At any rate: thank you for indulging my rambling. Shipping in general is such a complicated and thorny subject, and I’m not trying to convert anyone to this ship or to
diminish anyone’s enjoyment of Charlotte’s relationship with Marney. But I hope
this has done something to explain why I have found Charlotte and Haxby’s
relationship so intriguing and so ripe with potential for character development
despite acknowledging the ways in which it is unhealthy as it currently stands.